Biatch..

2:32 PM 5/23/2010

Being Selfish is the shadow we dont acknowledge is always following us.. we go on for miles and miles and sometimes are engulfed in this shadow..

I have always been a football player.. no one in my family has ever seen me play.. and i mean EVER.. its a little sad thinking about how blessed i am.. maybe not 1 in a million, maybe a hundred thousand.. the countless trophies and accolades have never ever been noticed by any blood.. not even a pat on the back.. I always thought the evidence of the fact that i wasnt supported was right there staring at me and my silverware..

Altho.. now, i realize.. after i wash my countless mud ridden shorts, socks and jerseys.. after i count coins to see if i have enough to ride the bus to practices.. after i no food to eat upon coming back from long practices and matches.. that everyone used to support me even if i didnt know it..

I feel like a dood who's just been told that this girl he's known for years is into him.. its happened to most of us.. its so obvious and its like we were completely blind to it until someone bitch slapped us with the facts..

Considering my mum, sis and even dad used to give me so much for something they didnt even ask questions about.. argument can be that they didnt really care.. but money was not easy to come by.. and my wants were, in fact are.. not important with regard to the whole picture.. and i know thank God they were there.. even if they didnt know they were there, and i didnt.. its just baffling now..

Appreciation is the key of life is a never ending lesson that is thought to people.. I always told my sister, if we didnt have the crippling financial constraint that drove us to where we are now, i would be a druggie and she would probably be a slut.. [no offensive to her of course] ..hell, she approved the thought.. sometimes, we are crippled for a reason..

Arguments are always that these are excuses for the things that we dont have.. but then again.. can the happiness you gain from counting money ever be equal to the happiness you get from counting your blessings..?

You can buy a bed.. but you cant buy sleep.. right?

Sigh.. anyway.. back to studying for me.. exams in about 14days.. my best wishes to everyone and anyone sitting for exams..

Peace

RR

2:49 PM 5/23/2010