Now i kno..

6:49 AM 1/4/2009

Hmm.. over these few weeks.. ive come to realize why i love to run away places alone.. or be in unknown spots with a handful or just 1 person.. or spend hours with a close friend or two, laughing about the tiniest most insignificant things.. kinda makes me forget everything i have to go through everyday or listen from family members of mine.. kinda carries me into a different place where im unusually happy.. least a tiny bit!

I know every1 has their own worries and troubles.. dont mean i cant complain about mine..hmm.. mine mostly revolve around the togetherness of my family members.. tis like a mini-series of Bold&Beau happening most of the time.. most of it helplessly, but yet it happens.. im sure diff things happens in diff households so no use going into detail..

The whole being in diff places.. or inevitable endless joking.. sorta is from this subconcious part of me that wants everything to just be okay.. where every1 is happy with whats happening to them and the ppl that around them.. but that aint possible.. some ppl are too old fashion others too stubborn.. whats to be done.. uncontrollable constraints!

I love being in an atmosphere where ppl are smiling, joking and laughing at things around them.. but then again.. cmon.. look at the world we live in.. hmm.. im kinda thankful i got a handful of ppl around me who make me feel like things can be laughed at and ridiculed.. if i didnt have them.. id be nothing but a stand up comedian with a billion jokes but no audience to enjoi.. and thats kinda sad dont u think?

Now i know why im sorta sad mos of the time.. tis like.. im actually a lil afraid of being too happy cos ive tasted anguish, heartache and saddness so many times that i rather be that way all the time instead of my feet floating off the floor before something or someone comes and knocks me down.. tis like if u oredy on the floor, a slippery floor aint a danger innit?

Hope i got to u on this 1..

Peace
RR

PS - Welcome New Year.. u lil bich..!
7:00 AM 1/4/2009