I was telling.. err.. i cant really remember whom.. but i had this dream..
This didnt really fit in the conversation i was having.. but me friend spoke about this amusing dream he had.. n i just finished with my 2 cent..
Hmm.. i was in this bed.. i dont know if i had like some terminal disease or I was seriously injured.. but i was sitting up in the this bed in a place which looked like a hospital room. There were a handful of ppl just telling me im going to be oryt soon.. but i was just all neutral.. not showing any real emotion.. dont really remember why or why not.. you gta bear with me.. was a dream!
Soon.. my condition declined.. i think i was in a coma.. cos i was getting a first person view of what i looked like in me bed.. and when i looked down, i was wearing the same thing as myself in me bed and for some reason.. everyone around me looked really shocked or sad and i wasnt able to converse with anyone.. very interesting scene to have dreamt about..
Later on.. figure in a black robe came.. i was looking round for a sickle.. but couldnt see one.. but my suspiciousions were right.. as the figure came closer.. the more the monitor showed decline, the more ppl around me looked distressed and the wider my smile grew standing nxt to me dying body..
*teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet* said the monitor like a never ending censor sound.. every1 just stood there in silence, some in acceptance and some in disbelief.. I calmly followed the figure out of the door following the gentleman in the black robe.. just glanced back before completing my exit into the complete darkness with my ear to ear grin!
I must say.. i dont remember enjoying a dream as much as this..
Peace..
RR
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Losses..
I was just thinking about all the mistakes ive done, and even couldve done! *
[ * ya yaaa!! ive had a lot of time! Thats what happens when you start studying in the morning real early, you end up with a lot of time to ponder and day dream.. so ya..! ]
Its a little funny.. you dont want to claim that you got regrets cos its not worth it either wayy.. but you do.. but then again.. whats life without those really stupid and dumb decisions. Whether its just you being immature and big headed..
Life wouldnt be complete without heartache.. you wouldve led to good a life to learn how life is such a bitch! It'd be like only meeting one side of a person, so you like that person a little too much and every1's biching about that person and you have nothing bad to say! =p
Life wouldnt be complete without you feeling like a total loser all alone.. it'd be too good if you never felt like you were the only person on the planet.. no1 understood you.. and you were insignificant!
Life wouldnt be complete if you didnt feel one sided love.. I cant recall exactly [ =p ] but its 1 of the most painful and hopeless things to sprial in emotionally.. its so pathetic and almost nothing helps with the way your feeling.. but if you havent felt it.. youve missed out! =D
Life wouldnt be complete if youve ever reached a place youve dreamt of being, and didnt find happiness.. its basically the point where youve been given every single thing you've wanted.. every1 said exactly what you wanted them to say.. but for some reason.. you know your happiness' isnt real and for some reason you cant smile sincerely!
This is just an example and I hope it never happens to you, but there are these ppl who wait & wait to end up with someone.. imagine like marrying this person you were hung over and waited forever to be with.. and when you do end up with them, they dont even make you happy..... sucks huh? Like all twilight zone-ish! =D
I once had this dream.. tis like.. I was playing this big match.. I remember standing in the line up.. red jersey, black shorts.. these amazing shoes! =p.. Every1 has this fantasy of scoring in the dying minutes.. and thats the oppotunity I got.. at death.. the ball rolls to me.. just me and the keeper left.. im all calm.. the keeper waits to see whether I dash or shoot.. I choose my target and let go.. he jumps to my left whilst Ive oredy foxed right.. the shot for the 90 in the top right side.. curves.. curves.. curves.. tamely hits the pole and goes out for a goal kick and the final whistle is blown. At that point.. all I saw was people screaming running around.. and I just stood there alone.. until everything went black and I was just looking at the floor wishing I could have my moment back..
Wasnt even real and Im scared! =p
Lol.. still laughing about the last 1.. anyway.. futsal now.. im off..
RR
Peace..
[ * ya yaaa!! ive had a lot of time! Thats what happens when you start studying in the morning real early, you end up with a lot of time to ponder and day dream.. so ya..! ]
Its a little funny.. you dont want to claim that you got regrets cos its not worth it either wayy.. but you do.. but then again.. whats life without those really stupid and dumb decisions. Whether its just you being immature and big headed..
Life wouldnt be complete without heartache.. you wouldve led to good a life to learn how life is such a bitch! It'd be like only meeting one side of a person, so you like that person a little too much and every1's biching about that person and you have nothing bad to say! =p
Life wouldnt be complete without you feeling like a total loser all alone.. it'd be too good if you never felt like you were the only person on the planet.. no1 understood you.. and you were insignificant!
Life wouldnt be complete if you didnt feel one sided love.. I cant recall exactly [ =p ] but its 1 of the most painful and hopeless things to sprial in emotionally.. its so pathetic and almost nothing helps with the way your feeling.. but if you havent felt it.. youve missed out! =D
Life wouldnt be complete if youve ever reached a place youve dreamt of being, and didnt find happiness.. its basically the point where youve been given every single thing you've wanted.. every1 said exactly what you wanted them to say.. but for some reason.. you know your happiness' isnt real and for some reason you cant smile sincerely!
This is just an example and I hope it never happens to you, but there are these ppl who wait & wait to end up with someone.. imagine like marrying this person you were hung over and waited forever to be with.. and when you do end up with them, they dont even make you happy..... sucks huh? Like all twilight zone-ish! =D
I once had this dream.. tis like.. I was playing this big match.. I remember standing in the line up.. red jersey, black shorts.. these amazing shoes! =p.. Every1 has this fantasy of scoring in the dying minutes.. and thats the oppotunity I got.. at death.. the ball rolls to me.. just me and the keeper left.. im all calm.. the keeper waits to see whether I dash or shoot.. I choose my target and let go.. he jumps to my left whilst Ive oredy foxed right.. the shot for the 90 in the top right side.. curves.. curves.. curves.. tamely hits the pole and goes out for a goal kick and the final whistle is blown. At that point.. all I saw was people screaming running around.. and I just stood there alone.. until everything went black and I was just looking at the floor wishing I could have my moment back..
Wasnt even real and Im scared! =p
Lol.. still laughing about the last 1.. anyway.. futsal now.. im off..
RR
Peace..
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Plans..
People should be more specific when they say plan.. sometimes.. things happen.. people change.. heck sometimes you just broke! Doesnt mean you just sit on your hands waiting for things to work your way... right? =\.. well.. easier said than done for me.. guilty of numb hands!
Like a stint of The Alchemist sometimes the world does conspire against you, although one would see it as against, in time you'd prolly realize that it was conspiring FOR you.. but sometimes the pain, anguish and failures a lil too much for an average person to absorb and they helplessly give up as they drown in their sorrow and despair.
Its easy to say dont give up and believe yourself forgetting anyone else preaching it to your broken-self.. but I do say be patient, even if im not going to listen to it myself.. it is a virtue and if you dont work well with virtues, let me just say it PAYS good!
Its hard to believe that change is sometimes good when it feels so bad all the time, but when the door does close and you do find that window that supposedly opens up.. you never know what the view is going to be innit? Might as well stagger and wade through the dejection and have a peak!
RR
Like a stint of The Alchemist sometimes the world does conspire against you, although one would see it as against, in time you'd prolly realize that it was conspiring FOR you.. but sometimes the pain, anguish and failures a lil too much for an average person to absorb and they helplessly give up as they drown in their sorrow and despair.
Its easy to say dont give up and believe yourself forgetting anyone else preaching it to your broken-self.. but I do say be patient, even if im not going to listen to it myself.. it is a virtue and if you dont work well with virtues, let me just say it PAYS good!
Its hard to believe that change is sometimes good when it feels so bad all the time, but when the door does close and you do find that window that supposedly opens up.. you never know what the view is going to be innit? Might as well stagger and wade through the dejection and have a peak!
RR
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Letting Go..
As we laughed and laughed, it seemed as though it would never end.. we knew it would, but like I said.. it seemed! Sometimes you never thought people of this sort could cause ANY impact on you, but I guess you'd never realize if they werent around in the first place! You'd never know what you were missing if you didnt have it in the first place innit?
It was good enough for us though, we knew we'd never be at the same table together, the same people who enjoyed eachother's company like this. People sometimes prove to be worse than anything you could ever imagine with regard to change.. whether its fame, money, time, distance or just plain old peer pressure.. but I guess people change but memories live on..
Its a shame but people have to move along on the roads of their lives.. what is life without the journey.. the relationships.. the letting go and the heartache! Letting go is never easy, but most of the time its not by choice of course, so coping is inevitable!
As we closed up the conversation, we walked back to where Id have to see them off.. it was one of the slowest walks I'd ever have to go through, for we knew we'd spilt directions for the last time.. wasnt the most pleasant thought! My previous sarcastic statement being the most mild understatement Ive ever have to express!
Alas, we reached the end.. a sincere sadness overcame my whole body.. its not like the person had even left my sight yet, but it was as if I had already lost a part of me.. thing is.. its not easy to come by people who'll supply you never ending kicks without drugs, booze or something which society condemn's "acceptable" =p.. but when those people do swing by, I can assure you, your memory will never fail you for they really were something else!
... *sigh*
As I realized my voice wasnt within reach of any ears.. I already felt alone..
I did feel sad for myself.. but I knew I'd have to recover.. for soon enough.. I'd have to let someone else go too.. wasnt going to be easy.. but I'll get by inshaAllah..
Peace..
RR
It was good enough for us though, we knew we'd never be at the same table together, the same people who enjoyed eachother's company like this. People sometimes prove to be worse than anything you could ever imagine with regard to change.. whether its fame, money, time, distance or just plain old peer pressure.. but I guess people change but memories live on..
Its a shame but people have to move along on the roads of their lives.. what is life without the journey.. the relationships.. the letting go and the heartache! Letting go is never easy, but most of the time its not by choice of course, so coping is inevitable!
As we closed up the conversation, we walked back to where Id have to see them off.. it was one of the slowest walks I'd ever have to go through, for we knew we'd spilt directions for the last time.. wasnt the most pleasant thought! My previous sarcastic statement being the most mild understatement Ive ever have to express!
Alas, we reached the end.. a sincere sadness overcame my whole body.. its not like the person had even left my sight yet, but it was as if I had already lost a part of me.. thing is.. its not easy to come by people who'll supply you never ending kicks without drugs, booze or something which society condemn's "acceptable" =p.. but when those people do swing by, I can assure you, your memory will never fail you for they really were something else!
... *sigh*
As I realized my voice wasnt within reach of any ears.. I already felt alone..
I did feel sad for myself.. but I knew I'd have to recover.. for soon enough.. I'd have to let someone else go too.. wasnt going to be easy.. but I'll get by inshaAllah..
Peace..
RR
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Its Just Sad..
Its just sad when the best part of the day is when you sitting alone in the dark.. a lethargic insomniac.. just being paper cut by thoughts you dont even want to have.
Although, sometimes thats all your left with.. even though there are people around, you know talking aint going to suffice the emptiness of such a hollow emotion.
You walk on the path of nothingness, gazing in other people's lives of unappreciation and abuse.. you kinda forget about yourself, but then again you never did take yourself seriously. Its a steep drop to pain which you dont feel anyway. Everything you talk about and every person you meet doesnt really fill in the blanks, just sorta deferring and skipping things you have got to take care of and accomplish, but we all knew that nothing was vivid enough to make sense of.. just like what you just read.. =)
Salams
RR
Although, sometimes thats all your left with.. even though there are people around, you know talking aint going to suffice the emptiness of such a hollow emotion.
You walk on the path of nothingness, gazing in other people's lives of unappreciation and abuse.. you kinda forget about yourself, but then again you never did take yourself seriously. Its a steep drop to pain which you dont feel anyway. Everything you talk about and every person you meet doesnt really fill in the blanks, just sorta deferring and skipping things you have got to take care of and accomplish, but we all knew that nothing was vivid enough to make sense of.. just like what you just read.. =)
Salams
RR
Monday, March 24, 2008
Fact is..
Life isnt a hard pathway to just trudge along.. you will trip.. you will inevitably fall on your face.. and like Adam West found out, you will be reminded that you are a tomato! .....what? Suddenly I cant be lame? =p
Fact is, more than often, people are going to only be there for you when they want to, not when you need them..
People are going to come to you, only when they need to, and not to just be with you.
You are going to be let down more often that not.. this is all factual, its not like im making this up or trying to wipe out the pixie dust out of your eyes. Even the people you love and are vunerable towards are going to sprinkle large amounts of salt over your wounds before dipping your impaled and paper-cut body into a large pool of concentrated lemon juice.
BUT, the season finale all comes down to how you respond to the reality of the situation.. possibly, HORRIBLY wrong.. some people are all shattered and traumatized.. but you got to be ready to be hit in the face, and you got to be able to walk and eventually live it off.. no matter how deep in the pit you fall.
Some people believe love is the answer.. leaning on top of eachother and caring.. thing is.. when it comes to all of those things, focusing isnt the key.. consistancy and variance.. if you love and care.. its got to be for more than one person.. [ unless you oredy married i guess.. =\ ] but then still, you got to be aware of what people going through and give a crap about your surroundings.
"FOR GODS SAKE THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING!"
Famous line we use when people leave excess food on their plate! =p
Fact is, when you need someone the least, your just not on the recieving end.. YET!
Truth is you'd never know when someone needs to talk about nothing, or just need the company, life isnt that easy and people aint that simple. Its like the phenomena about women and their shoes or guys and their.. =\.. err.. whats so complicated about us simpletons again? =S
Fact is, when you do good things, its probably going to go unnoticed and unappreciated.. doesnt mean you just give up and turn into a greedy bich cos you aint making a profit! =p.. somethings just cant be pawned off in value. If you dont feel that warm fuzzy feeling, its kind of a shame.. but anyway its more than that.
From loving thy neighbour to accepting one another as your brother and sister.. we got to take care of eachother..
Every one of us has been taken care off, its a wonderful feeling.. just imagine that from every person you met.. of course.. thats a world which cannot exist..
but maybe, just maybe instead of feeding every hungry mouth, we could check if they hungry.
..instead of stopping one's tears, maybe we could wipe a few.
..before cleaning the whole world of filth, maybe we could start with the people around us and ourselves.. wouldnt that be just dandy? =)
Aiite, thats it from my excessive thoughts.. nity nite!
Salams
RR
Fact is, more than often, people are going to only be there for you when they want to, not when you need them..
People are going to come to you, only when they need to, and not to just be with you.
You are going to be let down more often that not.. this is all factual, its not like im making this up or trying to wipe out the pixie dust out of your eyes. Even the people you love and are vunerable towards are going to sprinkle large amounts of salt over your wounds before dipping your impaled and paper-cut body into a large pool of concentrated lemon juice.
BUT, the season finale all comes down to how you respond to the reality of the situation.. possibly, HORRIBLY wrong.. some people are all shattered and traumatized.. but you got to be ready to be hit in the face, and you got to be able to walk and eventually live it off.. no matter how deep in the pit you fall.
Some people believe love is the answer.. leaning on top of eachother and caring.. thing is.. when it comes to all of those things, focusing isnt the key.. consistancy and variance.. if you love and care.. its got to be for more than one person.. [ unless you oredy married i guess.. =\ ] but then still, you got to be aware of what people going through and give a crap about your surroundings.
"FOR GODS SAKE THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING!"
Famous line we use when people leave excess food on their plate! =p
Fact is, when you need someone the least, your just not on the recieving end.. YET!
Truth is you'd never know when someone needs to talk about nothing, or just need the company, life isnt that easy and people aint that simple. Its like the phenomena about women and their shoes or guys and their.. =\.. err.. whats so complicated about us simpletons again? =S
Fact is, when you do good things, its probably going to go unnoticed and unappreciated.. doesnt mean you just give up and turn into a greedy bich cos you aint making a profit! =p.. somethings just cant be pawned off in value. If you dont feel that warm fuzzy feeling, its kind of a shame.. but anyway its more than that.
From loving thy neighbour to accepting one another as your brother and sister.. we got to take care of eachother..
Every one of us has been taken care off, its a wonderful feeling.. just imagine that from every person you met.. of course.. thats a world which cannot exist..
but maybe, just maybe instead of feeding every hungry mouth, we could check if they hungry.
..instead of stopping one's tears, maybe we could wipe a few.
..before cleaning the whole world of filth, maybe we could start with the people around us and ourselves.. wouldnt that be just dandy? =)
Aiite, thats it from my excessive thoughts.. nity nite!
Salams
RR
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Students Become The Masters
5:42 AM 3/5/2008
About 10 minutes ago, Arsenal FC slammed AC Milan at the San Siro 0-2 during the return leg after a 1st leg score line of 0-0 at the Emirates Stadium. I say "slammed" mostly because every article I read, from Team Vs Team previews to match predictions, not one article predicted a 0-2 for Arsenal.. but then again, thats why we love the sport.. its almost worse than life.. for all the twists and shocks are stuffed into approximately 90 minutes, thats a lil too much for an average person to handle!!
After continuous pressure in search of the opener, Arsenal out performed in every department! I know what you think "this guys an Arsenal fan, duhhh thats what he's going to say after having won 0-2" but truth is, AC Milan did pull of a few scares, but more than 90% of the time [ btw, 100% is like less than 10 times =\ ] they didnt even bother Almunia, who played quite brillantly, standing strong and even dealing with a very cheeky Pirlo freekick which did make my heart skip a beat!
Sagna & Clichy were guilty of over committing a handful of times, but made up for every little error by playing wonderfully down the flanks. Our favourite Swiss bastard, Senderos did make a few bad decisions, but the score line suggests that he conclusively successfully did his job, suprisingly, he didnt even get booked.
Eddy was INSANE!! I have never seen him such a bother amongst defenders, and we aint talking about just ANY defenders.. I referring to Maldini, one of the most prestigious left backs who did play left centre this match, and also the oldest scorer in the Champions League.. also "bugged" Nesta, a big, tall defenders, who carries with him some of the highest defensive stats especially regarding one on one's and set pieces and significantly lastly, Oddo, one old fool, but still, played well.. but like I said, the Arsenal left side was a little to bright for a the old chap, with Man of the Match Hleb, Clichy and Diaby combining to leave AC Milan just scratching their balding, ageing heads.
Before Speedy Walcott sprinted on, Eboue played a hasty game, just before half time, he over stepped offside when he couldve patiently waited for the ball and just when you thought you forgave him for being an idiot, he misses a completely clean shot on goal with NO ONE on him, seriously, I expect you to ATLEAST hit the keeper if not score aiite Emmanuel?
Even though if Kaka wasnt closed down and hit hard enough by the likes of Hleb, Fab and Diaby, Walcott was brought on whilst the score was 0-0 to add speed to the wings taking off the flawfull and more importantly booked Eboue who I assumed wouldve earned his 2nd yellow, and Walcott brought Kaka's hell along with him COMPLETELY ending any hopes of Kaka being an impact.
I was appauled by the referee's decision making, maybe it was because we needed an away goal so badly and Hleb DID NOT DIVE!!! Hleb is the last person in the Arsenal squad to dive.. we all know who the first one is.. yes yes.. Lehmann!
Whatever the case, with a somewhat silent start to the 2nd half, Fab took a couple of steps away from one defender, getting closer to two, with not much space, slashed a beautiful shot, and scored............................no one believed it, but when it did sink we, we did what was right! Cheered and cheered and began to message everyone else who was watching the match, which seems a little silly for they knew that we had scored! =p
In the end, whilst AC pushed and pushed for a goal, which wouldnt have been sufficient anyway, Walcott slipped through, and what seemed to be a silly tackle pulled of by Kaladze if Im not mistaken, he paces through and cuts it square onto the other side of the box & Eddy just sticks his leg out, squeezing the lemon over the wounds of AC Milan to see them off in their own stadium.........OUCH! x\
Oh well, any neutral fan wouldve seen what a great team Arsenal can be when it game is played by two prestigious teams who play their game instead of using tactics such as needless agression and dirt, which is what all football fans want to see in any match.
So with having blown Champions League WIDE open, I leave ya'll..
Oh ya.. also, Im quite thrilled with having accomplished something Man Utd & Liverpool tried so, so very hard to pull over AC between their recent meetings, what can I say.. Money Cant Buy Away Wins In Europe.
Peace..
RR
6:09 AM 3/5/2008
About 10 minutes ago, Arsenal FC slammed AC Milan at the San Siro 0-2 during the return leg after a 1st leg score line of 0-0 at the Emirates Stadium. I say "slammed" mostly because every article I read, from Team Vs Team previews to match predictions, not one article predicted a 0-2 for Arsenal.. but then again, thats why we love the sport.. its almost worse than life.. for all the twists and shocks are stuffed into approximately 90 minutes, thats a lil too much for an average person to handle!!
After continuous pressure in search of the opener, Arsenal out performed in every department! I know what you think "this guys an Arsenal fan, duhhh thats what he's going to say after having won 0-2" but truth is, AC Milan did pull of a few scares, but more than 90% of the time [ btw, 100% is like less than 10 times =\ ] they didnt even bother Almunia, who played quite brillantly, standing strong and even dealing with a very cheeky Pirlo freekick which did make my heart skip a beat!
Sagna & Clichy were guilty of over committing a handful of times, but made up for every little error by playing wonderfully down the flanks. Our favourite Swiss bastard, Senderos did make a few bad decisions, but the score line suggests that he conclusively successfully did his job, suprisingly, he didnt even get booked.
Eddy was INSANE!! I have never seen him such a bother amongst defenders, and we aint talking about just ANY defenders.. I referring to Maldini, one of the most prestigious left backs who did play left centre this match, and also the oldest scorer in the Champions League.. also "bugged" Nesta, a big, tall defenders, who carries with him some of the highest defensive stats especially regarding one on one's and set pieces and significantly lastly, Oddo, one old fool, but still, played well.. but like I said, the Arsenal left side was a little to bright for a the old chap, with Man of the Match Hleb, Clichy and Diaby combining to leave AC Milan just scratching their balding, ageing heads.
Before Speedy Walcott sprinted on, Eboue played a hasty game, just before half time, he over stepped offside when he couldve patiently waited for the ball and just when you thought you forgave him for being an idiot, he misses a completely clean shot on goal with NO ONE on him, seriously, I expect you to ATLEAST hit the keeper if not score aiite Emmanuel?
Even though if Kaka wasnt closed down and hit hard enough by the likes of Hleb, Fab and Diaby, Walcott was brought on whilst the score was 0-0 to add speed to the wings taking off the flawfull and more importantly booked Eboue who I assumed wouldve earned his 2nd yellow, and Walcott brought Kaka's hell along with him COMPLETELY ending any hopes of Kaka being an impact.
I was appauled by the referee's decision making, maybe it was because we needed an away goal so badly and Hleb DID NOT DIVE!!! Hleb is the last person in the Arsenal squad to dive.. we all know who the first one is.. yes yes.. Lehmann!
Whatever the case, with a somewhat silent start to the 2nd half, Fab took a couple of steps away from one defender, getting closer to two, with not much space, slashed a beautiful shot, and scored............................no one believed it, but when it did sink we, we did what was right! Cheered and cheered and began to message everyone else who was watching the match, which seems a little silly for they knew that we had scored! =p
In the end, whilst AC pushed and pushed for a goal, which wouldnt have been sufficient anyway, Walcott slipped through, and what seemed to be a silly tackle pulled of by Kaladze if Im not mistaken, he paces through and cuts it square onto the other side of the box & Eddy just sticks his leg out, squeezing the lemon over the wounds of AC Milan to see them off in their own stadium.........OUCH! x\
Oh well, any neutral fan wouldve seen what a great team Arsenal can be when it game is played by two prestigious teams who play their game instead of using tactics such as needless agression and dirt, which is what all football fans want to see in any match.
So with having blown Champions League WIDE open, I leave ya'll..
Oh ya.. also, Im quite thrilled with having accomplished something Man Utd & Liverpool tried so, so very hard to pull over AC between their recent meetings, what can I say.. Money Cant Buy Away Wins In Europe.
Peace..
RR
6:09 AM 3/5/2008
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