Ice..

6:02 PM 5/28/2010

When you buy commercially produced your not home.. or you doing something that has something to do with a party i guess.. but its strong evidence that you aint home.. at home, theres enough time to get your hands on an ice tray and pour water.. when you anywhere else.. you buy ice.. does that make sense?

Yesterday was vesak.. and 2day is apparently the day following vesak.. no shit yee? Well its printed on almost every calendar.. i think its cos ppl get so wasted they forget where in the calendar is the month.. trust me.. ppl say.. we drank like theres no tomorrow.. well, yesterday they were drinking like the today was in jeopardy.. like nali said, i better start drinking to not feel outta place.. looks like i better avoid feeling outta place and not goto such happenings.. cos thats a side of me i just dont want to find out about..

Last thing i need is another body damaging, agenda distracting addiction.. alcoholic is like a gene in my family.. i know that aint exactly statistical possible, but i know how i function and more importantly my peers..

Im a lil fatigued from all the studying.. and the worrying about it when im not actually studying whether the procrastination is in progress or im just plain bored.. if i fail this sem, i dont know where im going to go or what im going to do.. cos then i have some serious problems that are not just going to go away.. so here's wishing for easy papers made by the examiners! *cheers*

Im gotten used to cheers, and i understand its relevance.. since we dont usually booze with chix.. its more or less a male comradary thing right now.. like we all rise or we all go down.. although whatever happens.. we have eachother!

Although i have to admit i do get eyed for sneaking in a cheers with a glass of water or a plain coke.. kinda the guy who sneaks into a bar under age and doesnt even drink.. you just think, what the fark is he doing here anyway?

Well atleast yest i didnt have much of a choice, cos someone tipped me off that they were giving out free icecream.. thats just like.. like one of those things you expect to happen in heaven.. just pass free ice cream around.. so yea, i just had to go.. my friend was organizing the happening.. and in the end twas a drink off.. and 3 bottles take a life time to get over if you drunk on the 1st bottle or you dont drink.. cept in the 1st instance you dont remember much, and in the 2nd you remember every second, which is not a good thing.

I remember seeing a guy dancing with an empty arrack bottle, struggling to keep to the beat of Clarence Wijewardena's Desa Piyagathkala with a one rupee coin.. [ i know your shocked.. well its a popular song, ul know it when you hear it.. ] and it wasnt exactly a pretty sight..

2day's the 28th.. i got about 9 days of studying before exams are upon me.. and then about 1 week of being in exam mode.. and then i get back into the flow of life.. sometimes.. i picture it.. i step outta an organized itienary.. and sit my ass in a river thats too small for me cos its actually a steam.. and then im just praying for a tsunami to just take me away.. =\

Anyway.. until the next time i need someone to hear me..

Peace

RR

6:28 PM 5/28/2010

Biatch..

2:32 PM 5/23/2010

Being Selfish is the shadow we dont acknowledge is always following us.. we go on for miles and miles and sometimes are engulfed in this shadow..

I have always been a football player.. no one in my family has ever seen me play.. and i mean EVER.. its a little sad thinking about how blessed i am.. maybe not 1 in a million, maybe a hundred thousand.. the countless trophies and accolades have never ever been noticed by any blood.. not even a pat on the back.. I always thought the evidence of the fact that i wasnt supported was right there staring at me and my silverware..

Altho.. now, i realize.. after i wash my countless mud ridden shorts, socks and jerseys.. after i count coins to see if i have enough to ride the bus to practices.. after i no food to eat upon coming back from long practices and matches.. that everyone used to support me even if i didnt know it..

I feel like a dood who's just been told that this girl he's known for years is into him.. its happened to most of us.. its so obvious and its like we were completely blind to it until someone bitch slapped us with the facts..

Considering my mum, sis and even dad used to give me so much for something they didnt even ask questions about.. argument can be that they didnt really care.. but money was not easy to come by.. and my wants were, in fact are.. not important with regard to the whole picture.. and i know thank God they were there.. even if they didnt know they were there, and i didnt.. its just baffling now..

Appreciation is the key of life is a never ending lesson that is thought to people.. I always told my sister, if we didnt have the crippling financial constraint that drove us to where we are now, i would be a druggie and she would probably be a slut.. [no offensive to her of course] ..hell, she approved the thought.. sometimes, we are crippled for a reason..

Arguments are always that these are excuses for the things that we dont have.. but then again.. can the happiness you gain from counting money ever be equal to the happiness you get from counting your blessings..?

You can buy a bed.. but you cant buy sleep.. right?

Sigh.. anyway.. back to studying for me.. exams in about 14days.. my best wishes to everyone and anyone sitting for exams..

Peace

RR

2:49 PM 5/23/2010

Over the Hump.. Hill.. Waeva..

8:36 PM 5/16/2010

Getting over the hump is a figure of speech.. but its true.. if you have somewhere to go, or a target.. generally somewhere of productivity or say, maybe learning something new, it takes a little sweat, maybe time.. depending on your target.. maybe a tear or two..

Its a shame most people dont get the things they want.. and im not talking targets like having sex with partners from every continent or do every drug.. thats easy.. money can buy you that shit.. and inevitably you'll probably end up with a STD or ED and brain damage respectively.. im talking about things like wanting to get a degree or travelling the world.. now thats something to aim for..

Thats the beauty of being human.. even in religion they say we are amongst the best creations cos we have the power of decision.. yes.. no.. left.. right.. hell.. tea.. coffee.. we got it all, even though we are, in theory animals.. we get to choose..

There was this comedian doing a skit on God telling all the animals how they are going to have sex.. and all of them eventually had to do it "doggy style" [its MUCH funnier when you watch it] and then when it comes to the humans, he's like.. "umm.. i guess you can do whatever you want.. *shrug*"

Well.. i guess the lesson is where ever it is you set sail for, remember that there will be harsh seas and sometimes it'll seem that your the only boat in the ocean, but eventually you will see dolphins and rainbows.. and then finally you will reach your paradise.. even though you might have scruvy [metaphorically of course, no one gets that shit anymore] and a hook for a forearm.. it'll be a nice story to tell the people you meet on the beach.. if like is a beach.. paradise could possibly be one as well.. =D

Never give up is simple lesson and easy to say.. but close to impossible to stick by.. so i guess you just have to concentrate on the goal when all seems lost.. it'll get you there.. trust me.. not that im a brilliant source.. im a work in progress.. im one of the most DUMBEST students in my class.. but im certain i live my life the best.. not boasting.. just saying.. =)

Right now im like a homeless [hell, COUNTRY-LESS!] bum with a lot of ability and knowledge, sadly i have no credibility.. inshaAllah in time, that'll change.. cos its not fair.. its like feeling brilliant and having your mouth taped and hands tied behind your back.. im working towards being set free.. and when i do.. you better put on shades, cos im gna shine like a ma'facker.. and dont say i didnt warn you..

^_^

Peace
RR

8:52 PM 5/16/2010

In Repair..

11:17 PM 5/5/2010

Toughest thing about making a decision is the untaken path's being lost.. in accounting terms.. the opportunity cost..

Its a sad reminder when things arent going so well that there was a better option and probably now, its too late to track-back in an attempt to make ammends.. but people tend to forget that opportunity cost assumes that all would go well, and thats how less taken roads work.. they all seem right and assume everything would go well, but in fact there is no substantial evidence or proof that things would go on and conclude to the opportunity cost calculated.

Thats why i hate accounting.. there can only be one answer.. only a commercially shrewd person would know the right answer to accountancy.. its all about saving and the cheapest means of running a business cos its all about generating profits in the end. Even though I have to go through all of that, I hope God takes numbers away from me.. and leaves me the puzzles audits are supposed to carry along with an opportunity to lead a group of people.. i would consider a serious attribute of mine is to lead.. although i have a lot to learn, if you do make your own logical and thought out rules, you cant go wrong..

F U C K accountancy.. thats why i prefer life over accountancy.. there is no such thing as an opportunity cost.. theres just life and how you are going to live it.. if you've been given shit.. you can either roll around in it and give up.. or you can wait for it dry and sell it to a farmer who needs fertilizer.. you get me?

I have been given shit time and time again.. and im getting used to it.. cos from that, relationships and good times have blossomed over the heartache and sorrow which seems to arise every once in a while..

I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine and his text sadly consisted of a deeper more painfull yearning to overcome the normally happy person that he is.. i pray and hope he learns that the world isnt on his shoulders but the world is right beside him rooting for him.. but over all corruption, cries and poverty sometimes we lose the objectivity of what the world wants, and in turn of what we want..

Everytime you fall into a puddle of shit that was actually a mirage of a jacuzzi filled naked chicks, wipe that shit off yourself, dust yourself off.. have a shower if possible and just move along.. thats what its always about cos usually the grass is greener.. its just that sometimes we dont have the energy to get on or even dont have the ability to move on, thats when we depend on our family and friends.. whatever your preference is..

Either way.. your not together, your in repair.. but your getting there..

Peace

Rushdi

11:38 PM 5/5/2010

err.. duno..

10:07 PM 4/23/2010

I gta ride this stinky ass bus to class.. and back too.. both times i got caught in the rain.. oddly enuf i was in a pretty oryt mood.. its weird.. the rain acts like a fuse on the dynamite that is my mood.. either it can go spiralling into darkness.. or it can give me wholesome, solid satisfaction.. 2day, thank God.. it was the latter.. i dont like riding this bus, but as usual, my awesome'ness usually gets me a seat.. thank God once again.. anyway.. SL's like any developing country, in the middle of nowhere or rather in an average place, you'll suddenly see these amazing, happening places.. js reminds me how we used ta chill.. =D.. i mean.. im once in again in a tricky position.. i say tricky cos i dont wana use a negative word, cos theres notin rong with this place, just that.. apart frm being alone, i either never have money to do n e tin new or different or dont have the company.. those were the things that usually kept me going.. u know.. even tho ive always had issues holding me back, mainly financial, i always did indulge in random activities to keep me ticking.. over here.. there isnt much.. and i do feel bad sometimes.. wishing i had things to do, or rather luxuries to enjoi.. cos you dont have to look far to see kids who dont even have slippers or people who dont even have homes.. weird.. guess thats why ppl love ignorance.. as long as you dont see ppl suffering.. or being deprived of the simplest of things, you dont have a reason to feel bad innit?

In galle.. me dad's stomping grounds.. no1 really knows me.. they knew me as a kid.. i wasnt really spoilt, but to them i was.. terribly spoilt.. cos i got everythin.. maybe not what i wanted, but what i needed.. thats like what ppl dream in that lil town.. having what you need..

Im going back there 2mm.. i dont like that place too much.. every single person knows me.. neither am i exaggerating nor am i lying.. its because of my dad.. altho not many ppl even know my name.. so i dont like that place too much.. they js call me "Rafeek's Son" ..might as well give me a fucking number..! They are happy to see me, but its js that they happy to see my dad was able to rise out of a village and raise a son who doesnt seem much of a villager.. well, truth is, my dad's still pretty much a villager.. narrow minded.. stubborn.. these are the most basic of his traits.. God bless him tho.. i was explaining to a good frnd of mine.. even tho he isnt a great dad.. he's a great guy.. sadly.. im not a friend..

I was supposed to be writing a mail to a friend.. but i kinda ended up having a conversation to anyone who was willing to listen.. thanks for listening i guess.. till the nxt time..

peace!
RR

Chicken who turned.. Assistant Chicken Killer!

Happy New Year who pimping it subcontinental style.. for the Sinhalese and Tamil peeps.. this is like a really important day, and in SL there are a string of holidays.. i myself got an ever so generous two days.. the eve and the new year, which is 2day and tomm.. so decided ta hop on a train ta Galle for both days.. by "decided", i mean i was forced.. by "hop" i mean i was pushed into the train, and subtly molested off it.. [ i want to finish that para with a haha.. but i js used the word molested.. =\ ]

Chilling galle style is literally doing NOTHING.. umm.. theres Internet.. but its like internet that's going to be nonexistent about 3-5 years AGO.. yea.. i know the sentence isnt crisp, but you get my drift..

Its beautiful, peaceful, serene.. and blah di blah.. but i dont really have the proper company to fully enjoy it.. 1st of all no one here really appreciates it like i do.. cos im pretty much a tourist.. looking at the sky, enjoying how much more blue'er it looks for now.. the trees.. the sea.. everything is different.. esp. from Colombo, where they just dying to become another India, frm the pollution to the work force.. Galle.. they dont give a shit.. they could do nothing and go nowhere for a couple more centuries, easily!

I came with one of my nephew's.. he spending a handful of days as well, although its not as nice ta hang around with him cos he knows alot of people in "the village" but none of them speak alot of english, so while they have their reminiscent chats of their stomping grounds and the latest grapevine.. im like some sorta stalker just waiting for their conversation to end for that i can errily follow him to the next place he decides to stop and talk to someone.

Next time Im either going to come with someone who doesnt know anything about this place or alone.. i mean, that'd work too!

Its a very relaxing and peaceful trip, but I did carry some of my notes to remind myself that I have just about 8weeks till exams, inshaAllah I will be ready for me exams. [ btw.. that had nothing to do with the post, Im just brain washing myself into.. oh screw you, i dont need to justify myself to you.. moving on..]

After the 1st day going by with mostly myself frying in the Galle heat.. mostly cos my cuz didnt know where he was taking me, i ended up going into a book store and buying two books..

A Case of the exploding Mangoes
The Monk who Sold His Ferrari

The 1st one I was drawn to of course because of the title and 2ndly its written by quite a popular and reputed Pakistani writer.. Mohamed Hanif

The 2nd book was just potrayed as a book of wisdom so I couldnt help but get it.. I consider to be leading my own life in a pretty good way, from the way I am around people to the way I handle problems and troubles, but just cos you awesome doesnt mean you cant get awesomer innit? .....*awkward silence* ...yeaaaaa awesome!

So me cuz sis asked me if I want chicken for lunch.. umm.. yea waeva.. so she tells me I have to goto the market and get it with my uncle. So we take the bike and get there in minutes.. and my uncle hunts for a suitable chicken to be our lunch.. being the tourist I am, I gaze around like a cat in a new playground.. being careful where I step, wary of the sounds i hear, sniff the air more than once and take my time when looking at anything or anyone.. then me uncle hands me the chicken.. and just to be sure.. YES THE CHICKEN.. who was still alive and putting up a pathetic fight.. I was instructed to grab its legs.. and of course, being unfamiliar with such activities, i was going to follow whatever instructions I was given.. lil weird.. holding a chicken by your side while on a motorcycle, but then again, not like anyone was rubbernecking.. i was just staring at the chicken dangling while we did 80 on the way home.

In the afternoon, whilst I was cramming me uncle guides me to the shed, not knowing what was instore for me, he calmly tells me to hold the wings and the legs hard and the neck firmly as well, while he takes care of the jugular.. like we do this once or twice a week.. I took a moment to digest what was going to happen, to me it seemed like a crime, like i was taking part in something wrong, but then I went over the food chain and it seemed pretty reasonable to me.. happy to confirm I can stand such sights.. people who think its barbaric.. I do have a logical, statistical and decent argument.. but at this very moment.. Im holding 3 fingers up, just read between the lines..

Oh.. any I got 6 fillings filled.. HURT LIKE A BITCH.. cos of course out here, they dont really use any sort of anaesthetic.. I cursed the dentist's family numerous times, and of course, his childrens children and handful.. cant be too generous to just one family now innit..

God forgive me..
Until the next time you have nothing to do..

Peace
RR

Do everything I wouldnt.. your life would be so much better..

Feb.. March.. April.. Dayem..

Ive been missing longer than usual.. not like i ever explain myself innit..?

Tsk.. being in a 3rd world.. *ahem* ..a developing country aint a stroll in the park if you earning in the same currency of that country.. i e. if you a white person who's paying a visit to a country like Sri Lanka.. you gna have a blast, maybe even the time of your life.. but if you actually live here.. its quite a struggle.

Even though i have never lived here for longer than i have in these 3months which ive been here for.. its been a rollercoaster ride.. im only saying that, cos i cant really construct a metaphor of my own.. i mean.. rollercoaster's dont come to complete stand-still and make you think what the frick made you want to go on the rollercoaster in the 1st place.. yeeeeeeeaaaaaa..

No real interesting developments here.. but then mostly cos things are in a bit of shambles.. i cant really focus on what i came here to do, or really do anything out of the norm, cos your too busy worrying about what your family's going to think or do.. altho leme point out, its not that your worried about what their going to think, its that somehow its going to come and bite you in the ass.. tsk.. sorry about that.. too long a story and too complicated a process to discuss with just pushing buttons on a keyboard.

Elections going to take place tomorrow.. for all the people who believe in the system and have made intention to vote.. i pray that they've made the right decision and they have no trouble carrying out their vote.. praying for a peaceful day, and for the people who think your going to make a point or do damage by blowing yourself up, or worse brainwashing some kid to apply himself in your terrorist activity.. i ask God to curse you till the day you perish, and may that day be eons from now, for death would be a treat..

Karma seems to be a lil slower in developing countries, or rather it seems that way.. then again, ill never see the whole picture, im a dreamer.. eventually i give myself hope over all the shit that i see.. i love watching the news.. being informed is what they call it.. but all cnn, bbc and jazeera show is bloody, tears and oppression..

Im a lil happy being here is like being on an island.. well.. this place is an island, so.. erm.. i mean.. being alone and uninformed.. sometimes you forget that there's so much shit going on outside.. well, ignorance isnt always bliss, but its nice to be in denial on healthy regular intervals.. =)

Hmm.. until the nxt time..

Peace
RR