Dan dan daaaaaaaan..

Exam tomorrow.. I've prepared so well, I'm not a bit worried, the one on the 14th though.. its giving me nightmares.. but then again.. 1 step at a time innit?

I havent felt like investing in here for a while.. but this place is kinda like a cave for me.. sorta like I can come here anytime I want, scream at the top of my lungs and just enjoy the sound as it resonates.. someone might hear me.. maybe.. maybe not.. either way.. I = happy! =D

Everyone's changing their Avatar to a cartoon from their childhood in an attempt to "Defeat" Child Abuse.. umm.. don't want to be "one of those douche bags" BUT.. thats not really doing anything.. in fact, it might turn on child abusers.. i don't know.. might work like lingerie on doods.. there doesn't really have to be a chick, just seeing lingerie would sorta turn us on.. YOU GET MY POINT!!

Waeva.. weirder things have worked.. although its not the child abusers you have to go after, but the abused who are forever scared and the abused who have not spoken out and suffer from the inability to fight back.. those are the people that have to be reached out to..

And even if you are going after the Abusers.. highly doubt pictures of cartoon characters going to deter him.. =\

Peace

RR

This Is My Life..

8:34 PM 6/8/2010

Satisfaction is where i want to be.. the pursuit of happiness is asking a little too much from me right now.. i do not have the tools, knowledge, skills, or dicipline to get there.. but satisfaction.. its like the remote on the coffee table when the couch has consumed you.. you have to get out of your comfort zone and grab it, and then fall back into the coziness of the couch..

I always get disappointed when it seems that i havent learnt anything from life after all the years.. after all the people ive met.. all the experiences ive gone through.. they do say life is a never ending lesson.. but at some point its got to make sense innit? At the age of 21 i thought things would make a little more sense.. and that i wouldnt be tripping over the same shoelaces that keep coming untied on the same pair of shoes i where.. but always takes a little longer than you expected, thats the difference between someone who would give up and someone who'd push on.. this might be a little vague but you can relate it to anything.

Even one of the greatest people who ever lived in my opinion Mahatma Gandhi only blossmed at the age of 24.. before than, fear and uncertainty consumed him whole.. and if someone as great as Gandhi ripened at 24.. i think we have a little time..

I pray events that occur.. failure and hardship never deter my character and i do something that changes the world.. if not significantly, atleast subtly.. if i could achieve change in a handful of people's lives.. i wouldve lived a full life..

One of Gandhi's many lessons was live simply so that others can simply live.. in the materialistic world that has swallowed us whole.. i hope it spits me out and gives me a chance to live the lesson.. it wouldnt be easy but it would be worth it in the end..

I wouldnt be suprised if you're left confused.. and i dont blame you.. my posts are way to random to keep track off.. although if you ever want to inquire about something.. you probably will be able to get a hold of me.. dont hesitate! =D

I got an exam tomorrow anyway.. so pray all goes well..

RR

Peace

8:48 PM 6/8/2010

Stay Positive..

They say rap is a form of poetry.. this definitely is a good piece to appreciate..

The Streets - Stay Positive

Cos this world swallows souls
And when the blues unfold
It gets cold -- solids -- burns holes
You're going mad
Perhaps you always were
But when things was good you just didn't care
This is called irony
When you most need to get up you got no energy
Time and time shit'll happen
The dark shit's unwrapping
But no-one's listening your mates are laughing
Your brethren's fucking and then you start hating
Your stomach starts churning and you mind starts turning.
So smoke another draw
It won't matter no more but the next day still feels sore
Rain taps on your window
Always did tho but you didn't hear it when things were so-so
You're on your own now
Your little zone you were born alone and believe me you'll die alone
Weed becomes a chore
You want the buzz back so you follow the others onto smack

Just try and stay positive x4

Feels nice and still
Good thing about brown is it always will
It's easy, no-one blames you
It's that world out there that's fucked you
You're no less of a person and if God exists
He still loves you
Just remember that - the more you sink the further back from that brink
Maybe you've lifetime scars and you think tattoos might be more fitting
But who's picking?
Searching for yourself you find demons
Try and be a freeman and grasp that talisman
Cos your the same as I am
We all need our fellow man
We all need our samaritan.
Maybe I'm better looking than you tho
Maybe I've got more dough - but am I happier... no.
Get the love of a good girl and your world will be much richer than my world
And your happyness will uncurl

Just try and stay positive x4

Stop dreaming
People who say that are blaspheming
They're doing nine to five and moaning
And they don't want you succeeding when theyve blown it
And you idols - who are they?
They too dreamt about their day
Positive steps will see your goals.
Whether it's dollars or control, feel the gold.
I aint helping you climb the ladder
I'm busy climbing mine.
That's how it's been since the dawn of time
If you reach a cul-de-sac
The world turns it's back
This is you zone, it's like blackjack
He might get the ace or the top one
So organise your two's and three's into a run then you'll have fucked him some
And for that you'll be the better one

One last thing before you go though
When you feel better tommorow you'll be a hero
But never forget today. you could be back here
Things can stray
What if you see me in that window?
You won't help me I know.
That's cool, just keep walking where you go.
Carry on through the estate, stare at the geezers so they know you aint lightweight
And go see your mates
And when they don't look happy
Play them this tape

Just try and stay positive x4

I hope you understand me
Just try and stay positive
I aint no preaching fucker and I aint no do-goody-goody either
This is about when shit goes pear-shaped
And if you aren't or ever have been at rock bottom then good luck to you in the big wide world
But remember that one day shit might just start crumbling
Your bird might fuck off or you might loose your job
It's when that happens that what I'm talking about will feel much more important to you
So if you aint feeling it, just be thankfull that things are cool in your world
Respect to BC
Positivity
Positivity

Just try and stay positive x4

Peace

RR

Buddha Said..

The thought manifests as the word;
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into the habit;
And habit hardens into character;

So watch the thought and its ways with care,

And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings...
As the shadow follows the body,

As we think, so we become..

Never Give Up..

7:07 PM 6/1/2010

The title has nothing to do with what you are about to read.. i just need a subconcious push.. being all alone isnt easy.. i just keep closing my books, promising ill get to it.. and not really finishing what i started.. procrastination is the killer of everything.. its like letting a bus that seems full just pass by.. you taking a chance on the next bus.. what if that one's as full.. or MORE full.. what you going do?

I never knew what was so great about Gandhi.. i mean.. yea.. he was a great guy.. but can you tell me more about him than his fasts and grabbing salt on the shore of Dandi i think it was..?

Well, if you can.. kudos to you.. for a long time, ive stayed ignorant, so i picked up two books on Gandhi and im sure i wouldve changed for the better by the end of it.. or least my mind wouldve flexed in the way i would have liked it to.. more than once ive expressed my displeasure with academics.. and this is a little support to my innerself who sometimes falls in despair of my mediocre grades..

You see, Gandhi himself was a mediocre student.. but deligence got him through academics.. thats all i need to do i guess.. the rest will take care itself..

What i like about Gandhi.. is that he was an average guy.. God didnt come down to him.. he didnt have any special abilities.. he smoked once.. even visited a brothel, not that it panned out the way one would imagine.. it shows that anyone can reach impossible heights.. you dont need money.. you dont need influence.. hell, you dont need height.. and in Gandhi's case, you dont need a good head of hair.. you just need a meaningful, unselfish vision.. and work on that with intention..

Ive been having so many bad dreams.. i dont understand them.. people sometimes dream of falling.. being chased.. abused.. im getting all of these in days.. it doesnt make any sense.. is it the stress? i dont see why i have to be beaten the only time i get to NOT stress about everything going on.. anyway.. im sure it'll pass me by and i wont remember any of it..

Bad dreams haunt my subconcious whilst headaches have began to torture me regularly.. all these events are uncommon.. i dont fall sick easily.. i dont get headaches.. i get this from my dad.. we dont really believe in medicine.. we just believe in fighting it.. once again we pass by the fact that its all in the mind.. i admit, if you cant breath, cant walk, cant speak.. somethings probably wrong with you.. but if you feeling off beat.. and you just carry on.. it eventually fades away and you get back on track.. has worked for ages..

Let me give you this example, when people got headaches before panadol.. what did they do? Probably went to sleep, ate something or did something to get it off their minds.. but now that someone has created panadol, the first thing your mind associates headache with is panadol.. just like that.. if you get caught in the ran, you will fall sick.. if you shower late at night, you probably going to catch a cold.. these are old wives tales, but if this is brought to your attention, it'll probably happen to you..

These are two theories that converge into existence.. one of course is the ever famous law of attraction.. and the 2nd is a very complex theory of existence which i forgot.. basically.. if you didnt know it, you wouldnt have realized anyway.. example, if you got caught 10 times in the rain, does that mean your going to get sick 10 times..?

Well.. thats all i got i guess.. headache seems to be getting a little better.. i just feel like i had a really good conversation with someone i dont know.. i miss that pleasure.. last person i did this with was an ex-navy army officer.. a Sri-Lankan berger who left Sri Lanka in the early 80's i think it was.. he said i was going places.. many people hear that.. but unlike most people.. i dont feel flustered and blush.. i kinda already know im going places.. although i feel like its taking a while.. although maybe i need the time to obtain skills and sharpen my tools before i get subbed into the game.. =)

Peace

RR

7:32 PM 6/1/2010

Ice..

6:02 PM 5/28/2010

When you buy commercially produced your not home.. or you doing something that has something to do with a party i guess.. but its strong evidence that you aint home.. at home, theres enough time to get your hands on an ice tray and pour water.. when you anywhere else.. you buy ice.. does that make sense?

Yesterday was vesak.. and 2day is apparently the day following vesak.. no shit yee? Well its printed on almost every calendar.. i think its cos ppl get so wasted they forget where in the calendar is the month.. trust me.. ppl say.. we drank like theres no tomorrow.. well, yesterday they were drinking like the today was in jeopardy.. like nali said, i better start drinking to not feel outta place.. looks like i better avoid feeling outta place and not goto such happenings.. cos thats a side of me i just dont want to find out about..

Last thing i need is another body damaging, agenda distracting addiction.. alcoholic is like a gene in my family.. i know that aint exactly statistical possible, but i know how i function and more importantly my peers..

Im a lil fatigued from all the studying.. and the worrying about it when im not actually studying whether the procrastination is in progress or im just plain bored.. if i fail this sem, i dont know where im going to go or what im going to do.. cos then i have some serious problems that are not just going to go away.. so here's wishing for easy papers made by the examiners! *cheers*

Im gotten used to cheers, and i understand its relevance.. since we dont usually booze with chix.. its more or less a male comradary thing right now.. like we all rise or we all go down.. although whatever happens.. we have eachother!

Although i have to admit i do get eyed for sneaking in a cheers with a glass of water or a plain coke.. kinda the guy who sneaks into a bar under age and doesnt even drink.. you just think, what the fark is he doing here anyway?

Well atleast yest i didnt have much of a choice, cos someone tipped me off that they were giving out free icecream.. thats just like.. like one of those things you expect to happen in heaven.. just pass free ice cream around.. so yea, i just had to go.. my friend was organizing the happening.. and in the end twas a drink off.. and 3 bottles take a life time to get over if you drunk on the 1st bottle or you dont drink.. cept in the 1st instance you dont remember much, and in the 2nd you remember every second, which is not a good thing.

I remember seeing a guy dancing with an empty arrack bottle, struggling to keep to the beat of Clarence Wijewardena's Desa Piyagathkala with a one rupee coin.. [ i know your shocked.. well its a popular song, ul know it when you hear it.. ] and it wasnt exactly a pretty sight..

2day's the 28th.. i got about 9 days of studying before exams are upon me.. and then about 1 week of being in exam mode.. and then i get back into the flow of life.. sometimes.. i picture it.. i step outta an organized itienary.. and sit my ass in a river thats too small for me cos its actually a steam.. and then im just praying for a tsunami to just take me away.. =\

Anyway.. until the next time i need someone to hear me..

Peace

RR

6:28 PM 5/28/2010

Biatch..

2:32 PM 5/23/2010

Being Selfish is the shadow we dont acknowledge is always following us.. we go on for miles and miles and sometimes are engulfed in this shadow..

I have always been a football player.. no one in my family has ever seen me play.. and i mean EVER.. its a little sad thinking about how blessed i am.. maybe not 1 in a million, maybe a hundred thousand.. the countless trophies and accolades have never ever been noticed by any blood.. not even a pat on the back.. I always thought the evidence of the fact that i wasnt supported was right there staring at me and my silverware..

Altho.. now, i realize.. after i wash my countless mud ridden shorts, socks and jerseys.. after i count coins to see if i have enough to ride the bus to practices.. after i no food to eat upon coming back from long practices and matches.. that everyone used to support me even if i didnt know it..

I feel like a dood who's just been told that this girl he's known for years is into him.. its happened to most of us.. its so obvious and its like we were completely blind to it until someone bitch slapped us with the facts..

Considering my mum, sis and even dad used to give me so much for something they didnt even ask questions about.. argument can be that they didnt really care.. but money was not easy to come by.. and my wants were, in fact are.. not important with regard to the whole picture.. and i know thank God they were there.. even if they didnt know they were there, and i didnt.. its just baffling now..

Appreciation is the key of life is a never ending lesson that is thought to people.. I always told my sister, if we didnt have the crippling financial constraint that drove us to where we are now, i would be a druggie and she would probably be a slut.. [no offensive to her of course] ..hell, she approved the thought.. sometimes, we are crippled for a reason..

Arguments are always that these are excuses for the things that we dont have.. but then again.. can the happiness you gain from counting money ever be equal to the happiness you get from counting your blessings..?

You can buy a bed.. but you cant buy sleep.. right?

Sigh.. anyway.. back to studying for me.. exams in about 14days.. my best wishes to everyone and anyone sitting for exams..

Peace

RR

2:49 PM 5/23/2010