Well, another b'day has passed, something subtly never agreed upon by my mum & dad, dont know how it can be a debatable issue, but, Mum considers its the 30th, and Dad wishes me on the 31st.. for some reason I dont really care about either. Ive always hated my birthday so reasons I dont think I owe to anyone to explain.
To me, a birthday is the passing of an year, even more significantly that New Year's.. you probably look back and have things to be happy about & things to regret, but you probably missed out on a handful of things and opportunities you'll never get back!
Ive always hated my birthday, and things aint ever going to change, although not along the same lines with respect to emotion. Yesterday, on the 1st of Feb, I was told by Ammar's Younger brother who's still studying in Dubai that one of my good friends had passed away in an accident the previous day.
I say good, cos this specific dood was the brother of my friend. I wish, from the deepest part of my heart that I could be next to Ahmed, to just be there for him, & more over for him to be there for me, cos I am completely shattered.
Usually, a close friend of your brothers wouldnt get close or would even hardly associate with you, but the brother-hood of Mustafa Tawfiq and Ahmed Tawfiq is one like no other. They'd do anything for eachother and have had eachothers backs forever, which is why I even know Mustafa. And I thank God for blessing me with his company!
Mustafa's a mild mix of Ahmed Tawfiq who is definately one in a million, cept has his own twist of unique characteristics, good friend, caring, funny.. these are all cliches! The emotions we shared is what leaves me blubbering and tear-filled!
After the endlessly hours of football we played, countless laughs and listening to his urdu in his arab dialect.. I am pleased that I met him this time in my visit to dxb, or I dont how worse I would be feeling right now!
I, personally still dont believe it happend, and I will not stop shedding tears randomly thinking about the times we shared in school, out of school and im too broken to even think of every other time! Even though I wept and wept embarassingly, I wished deep down inside, sincerely that someone would jump out and tell me that I was punk'd.. I just dont want to believe it i guess..
When speaking to Ahmed, I helplessly broke down, and will do so everytime for the next couple of days as I think about the reality of what has happened and I thank God for giving Ahmed strength to bear the intensity of the happenings, because for Ahmed, its not losing a brother, its not losing a friend.. its losing a part of him and its never going to be the same, if not for me, how for him?
My prayers are with Ahmed and his family, and most of all Mustafa..
You Shall be missed dearly by every single person who knew you..
Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Illayhi Raji3oon..
RR
